Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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