We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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