i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
