He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
