I hate your face
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
