Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
