i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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