Can i not drive my cunt home
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
