"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
