Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
