DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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