Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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