Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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