IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
