the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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