Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
