Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
