At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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