Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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