TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
