I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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