I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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