dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
