My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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