is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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