I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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