Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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