i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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