so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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