made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
