You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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