so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
