I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
