Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize