I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
