haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
