I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
