you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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