Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
