so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
