5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
