i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
