I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
