I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
