Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we're so committed to being not committed
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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