I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
