ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
