What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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