i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
