Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
