It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
