I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
