Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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