Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
