I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
