It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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