I understand Curling. That high.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My life is pants optional.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
