new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
