Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
