Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
