I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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