it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize